If you don't like what I'm saying then just hit that X up there and close this page.
Come, come, I shall be nice and insert a link here for you to click in case you want to exit this page and don't know where the X is.
Disclaimer: But first and foremost, I would like to say that I'm not (1) Generalising/Stereotyping anyone, (2) Pointing any fingers - I'm just saying this based on some people that I know/come across, (3) Saying that I'm perfect. I'm not.
(A) I don't understand some people. These include some of the people that I know. I refuse to use the word 'friends' because some of them have cut me out of their life. Not that I care, because I was never really close with them before, but it's ANNOYING. Yes, IN CAPS.
Firstly, I did not do shit to you. I don't badmouth you because if you know me, you will know that if I don't like you, I wouldn't be nice to you. I'm not exactly the kind who would be all bitchy if I don't like you. I may, I may not. It really depends. But if I didn't, I wouldn't talk to you, wouldn't say hi, smile, look, and whatever. I just wouldn't even acknowledge your existence. Unless you talk to me, then I have no choice but to reply, right? Otherwise, you're like dead to me. Dead. So unless you see me doing whatever I do when I don't like someone, it obviously means that I'm fine with you. And I would like to clear this up. I can be the kind who doesn't like what you do, but be fine with you, and I can also not like what you do, and be annoyed at you. For example, I may hate your whining and complaints, but I may love you. But if I don't like you, I probably don't like anything about you. Even if you're pretty, I'd say you had surgery or that you used too much makeup.
Secondly, if you had a misunderstanding/argument/break up with/fight or whatever with someone that may be a mutual friend/my friend/my boyfriend or whoever, I'm pretty sure you won't get sued if you still remain my friend. No, because that's not what friends do. If you're a good person, you would only keep a fight between you and the other person, not with everyone else. Can you imagine how awkward it's gonna be when things clear up between you and the other person, then what? Suddenly you want to be friends with me again? Like, fuck you, seriously. In Dawn's words 'Fuck off, and when you've done that, fuck off a little bit more." But anyway, since I said that we weren't really close and I refuse to use the word 'friends', fine do whatever you want. You're now dead to me. DEAD.
Thirdly, if you don't want people to judge you for what you say, and that's the reason why you cut me off or like to be secretive, then let me give you a solution. DON'T SAY IT. If you don't want people to judge you for what you do, then DON'T DO IT. I really don't understand what some people that are famous in the blogosphere or anyone who is active on the social media, are thinking. If you say something and you end up retracting your statement and apologising for it, why the HELL did you even say it in the first place. And to put it on social media when MILLIONS of people, and your thousands of followers, can see, is beyond my understanding. It's like you just want attention, or you're plain dumb. That's why whenever I tweet something or put something out and someone criticises me and insists that I take it down, I get mad. Like, really mad. Because I would have thought of the consequences beforehand, and I mean what I say. If that's how I feel, then that's how I feel. I'm not gonna change my mind about how I feel about something just because you have an issue with it. Unless I may be liable for defamation, then that's another thing, right? Who are you to tell me what to do? You may love me and not want me to get into trouble, but as I have mentioned, I would have already thought of the consequences. It's like they say something dumb without it going through their mind and only regrets it after people have slammed them, and then apologise for being so insensitive. Why couldn't you have done that before you hit the submit or send button? Like just think, 'Hmm, will anyone get hurt?', 'Is it offensive?' or 'How will I feel if I was reading this?'. Very simple right? So I don't see why so many people can still make this mistake. HENCE, THIS POST AND THE DISCLAIMER. I'm not gonna delete this after it has been sent out from my drafts.
(B) Other than not understanding some people, I don't understand what they think of relationships. To me, relationships have never been games. I'm not saying I have been the perfect girlfriend or lover in my past relationships. In fact, I may be the worse one. In my past serious relationships, I feel that I was always the one who had the 'upper hand'. Meaning that I wasn't the one who was at the losing end. Admittedly, I hasn't the one who contributed more, gave more, sacrificed more and loved more, and eventually I was the one who ended things. But at the very least, I didn't think that they were games. Whenever one relationship ended, I would cry. Not because I was afraid I would be alone or that no one would be there loving me, but because I felt bad. I knew that the other person wasn't the right one for me, and I did not love them the way I ought to. That's why I never liked it when they spent money on me. Because I was afraid that when the relationship ends, it will all go to waste - including the money. That's also one of the reasons why I never believed in spending so much on the other person, and I would (probably) never be a gold-digger.
But I digressed.
Anyway, my point is that, at this age, I can't afford to play. Like, attaining the 'perfect' life. First we will have to date for at least 3 years and then we can get married and then have kids etc. But don't forget that you have to throw in the fact that we will have to get good jobs that pay well so we can afford to support each other and our kids, and the fact that women have an 'expiry date'. So with everything in the equation, what do us modern women have to do to strive for the 'perfect' life? But fuck the perfect life, right? Because in this time and age, who needs to have a man because we are independent women who can live on our own and support ourselves. Even if we need a shoulder to cry on, we have our BFFs and sisters to count on. But no, that's not true. At least not for me. Because when we are so busy trying to be self-sustainable and independent, everyone around us are finding their partners and building their own families and homes, and some of our loved ones would have left us. They wouldn't have much time for us. And women being women, we need to have emotional support, we need to have someone to talk to, someone who listens and showers us with love and concern. If you say get a kitten or a puppy I'm gonna reach into my mac and poke your eyeballs. I used to be the kind of girl who says 'I'm gonna stay single my entire life and I'll stay with my mum forever.', but let's be real, what's gonna happen when my mum leaves? Yes, you may say I'm only alone, not lonely, but how long can that last? It's not only that, it's gonna be really sad. In future if you have gatherings with your family or friends, everyone will be with their husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend/kids, but you'll be alone. Isn't that sad? If you say no, then you'll probably be fine on your own because you're confident - that I congratulate and applaud you. But what about the rest of us?
I don't understand people who can love someone, and let go so easily. If you can be in a relationship in one day, and another in the next, was it really love? And I don't get why people can be in and out of the same relationship for so many times. I mean, if you loved the person, but for some reason you guys break off and after a few weeks or months, are back together again, is the initial reason to the break up resolved? Or is it still there? If it is, and you guys break up again after a while, what's the point? If it has been resolved and cleared up, then good. But make sure it doesn't happen again, otherwise, I ask again, what's the point of patching up? It's only going to be a vicious circle that you can't get out from. You have to point out a flaw and try to work it out, there's no point in escaping and then when you realise that you still love that person, you forget about the flaw and try to get back. Eventually, you will still end up breaking up because of that unresolved flaw.
It's no wonder why many of our predecessors say that we Gen Y are making a mockery out of marriage. I mean it's true. How can we love someone else, when we don't even love ourselves. I've never believed that if you marry someone you have known everything about, the marriage wouldn't last. Then let me ask you, how well do you know the person? You may trust him/her, but is it enough to know that he/she isn't marrying you for your money? Or if you can wake up knowing that you love someone so much, you may wake up one day feeling that you love the person no longer. Sure, marriage is about learning about your partner, but it is also about discovering things together. If you're so busy learning things about each other and getting mad when you finally see them for themselves, you wouldn't have time to love one another when all the both of you do is get into fights.
I think I had a (C) but I forgot what it was. I've typed too much earlier on already.
Again, I'm not saying that I'm perfect, nor am I in the perfect relationship, or pointing names. I am faaaaar from perfect, at least that's what I tell myself. I'm not in the perfect relationship too. Z and I have our fights and flaws. But we say it out and we work it out. And so far it has been going pretty okay for me because this has been my longest relationship. And I would like to reiterate again that I am NOT pointing any fingers. It is just what I have gathered from people that I know, and it has got me thinking. If you get mad because you think that I'm talking about you, and want to create trouble, FINE BY ME. Whatever. I also didn't say your name what, and I also said that I'm not talking about anyone in general because this is based on what I've seen from a few people, not necessarily from a SINGLE person. If you feel guilty and angry after reading this, thinking that I'm talking about you, then all I can say is, 你做鬼心虚 - you're just guilty. I also don't want people to read this and feel bad about themselves, I just hope that people my generation will climb out of their Me Hole and think from a wider perspective.
In other news, I want Macs now.
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