Do we all have to Grow Up?

i've been a stranger recently.

to everyone who cares/cared about me,

to everyone who tried making conversations with me,

to everyone who tried to ask me out but i turned down.

even to myself.

i can no longer find myself anymore.

i dont even know who i am now.

im practically drowning myself in movies & shows.

i've cut myself out of my social network.

since i havent been able to get much sleep these days, i have been thinking. on my bed.

and i always say this to myself late at night.

"Memories should always be left as memories.

Anything in the past should not follow you to the present nor future."

i guess that's the goal i live day by day for now.

i dont know what to do with my life now.

not that i have lived my life to the fullest or what.

but i feel, it's like im done here. or almost.

often i think, or maybe, we.

whether or not anyone would miss us if we're gone.

i still dont have the answer to that. i guess no one would really know.

i really wanna bring the people around me or used to, to my future.

but i know that we all have to grow up, move on and go our own ways.

and through my life, i learned another important quote.

"Life doesnt always go the way you want it to be."

i've never said it out loud before, but im scared.

"Im scared of growing up. And the process of it."

im FB stalking someone not cause i like her, but on the contrary, i dont like her. C: