Black & White

gah. i wanted to blog earlier about tday.

but dont really have the mood to do so now :(

i have to let the steam out of me.

many things people say affect me.

to be honest, im someone who is very easily influenced and affected by what people say.

soooo yeah.

when people say something good about me, of course i will take to heart.

but i would still feel very unsure and uncertain about myself.

for me to really think that way, it requires a lot of assurance from people.

so it just have to take a little criticism to make me fall and break.

that's how low my confidence level.

and i guess you can say it applies to everything i do.

im not that strong. as strong as how i appear.

i have my fears, and my tears.

my only way to hide from these is self-denial.

i run away from them.

so when someone confronts me and throws it all out into my face,

it's possible that i break down.

especially the only thing which i can really be proud of: MUSIC

when someone criticises, i shatter.

or maybe even if no one says a thing, i would go around comparing myself to others.

i guess that the only reason is because it's something i value so much

which i cant bear and tolerate any criticism.

it would be like, just slapping me across the face.

maybe this sounds like an overstatement to you.

but no, it's not.

我不是你想象那么勇敢。

所以， 哭过， 就真的好了吗?