A (Love) Letter

To: X

i have no idea what this is!

i dont miss you, but i think of you.

i dont love you, but im fond of you.

if im treated badly by someone im infactuated with, i will think, "I know X wont do this to me."

if im bored, i will think, "I know X will definitely accompany me."

i dont know whattttt. maybe im just writing this because.. i want to feel loved again(?)

you're not the dream guy i want.

i think that's why i keep pushing you away.

and those thoughts further in my head.

i keep thinking of your BAD more than your GOOD.

i think im making myself NOT fall in love with you.

loving me is painful and tiring, so you should stop. i think.

im telling you to, but i dont know if that is what i want exactly.

or maybe i just want to feel appreciated, admired, loved, that im worth it.

that there is actually value for my existence.

and i know that you will love and want me unconditionally and make me feel blessed.

but then sometimes, love isnt the only thing worth considering.

can you please go create a blog or something so i can blog stalk you. idiot.

can someone tell me, teach me what love is? how love is?

i know that you're flirting with me, but i refused to entertain you.

i know the tricks, remember?

so i have no choice but to block you out of my life.

how? by making you block me out of your life.

and i think i know how. and it's gonna be cruel.

but that's the only method. im sorry.

it's all Cupid and his Blind Arrow's fault.

Yours sincerely, J